I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
