I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
