bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
