My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
