My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
