If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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