i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize