Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize