I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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