please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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