I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
