drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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