love makes seman taste better
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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