i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
