you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
