No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize