i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
