I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
