Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
