Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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