True but thats because hes a fetus.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
