I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
worst night to have a conscience
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
