We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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