She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
