Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
