my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
