tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Can you bring me the toilet please
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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