I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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