Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
