If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize