I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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