I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you never un-have a 4some
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
