oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
