he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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