you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
