Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
