she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
