she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
