Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
