Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
