She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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