If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
