Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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