Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
