They should really pass out barf bags in church
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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