I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
