just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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