don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
