I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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