1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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