you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
