when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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