I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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