that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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