How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
