But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize