I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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