Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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