This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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