Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
