its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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