it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
